Reality Amuck™

Several years ago, I guess it's been at least five years now, there was an incident that for all intents and purposes left me dead for a few minutes. The funny thing about your heart stopping is that when it stops so does the flow of blood with it's lovely oxygenated goodness. Long story short when it was all over I ended up with, among other things, what I lovingly call "Swiss Cheese Memory" (and yes, I totally lifted that term from Quantum Leap).

There are entire chunks of my long-term memory that may as well never have happened and my ability to process and store short-term memory into long-term memory is somewhat clunky. Overall it's not the end of the world for me and after a while I learned to deal with it. If people were to ever see some of the notes I take they might get a little freaked out. Often I will jot down subjects of conversations and interactions with people so that I can remember them later. I'm not spying on you, I'm just trying to avoid embarrassing situations later on when you start talking about seeing a movie with me and I have no idea what you're talking about.

There have been, however, a few advantages to the situation. I've enjoyed a few books again for the first time, there are a few very bad experiences that only exist as journal entries or vague shadows, and I don't stay mad about some things as long.

That last one is a good one but it has caused issues. I can get really upset about a subject, even have an argument with you about it, but if you leave me alone for a few hours there's a better than good chance I'll forget the whole matter and move on with life. This can be frustrating for the person on the receiving end of the discussion as they may still want to argue and I have only a limited idea of why.

The flip side of this is when the wrong thing gets put into memory. Say we have an argument but eventually resolve the problem. Now you're fine with the situation and move on but, oops, I don't remember the resolution only the argument. I'm still in argue mode and get even more upset because you seem to be dropping the subject without a resolution.  That one gets a little annoying at times.

The other bad part is remembering or being told bad news again and again. On more than one occasion I have completely forgotten about the death of a favorite uncle and had the fun of reliving the emotion of first hearing about it. More than once I've thought about putting together a list of people who've died since the incident and reviewing it every now and again just to help dull the shock of finding out.

I'm not to the point of Fifty First Dates or anything like that but if we ever meet again and I don't seem to remember the last time we met, please don't get mad. It's not that I don't think you're an awesome person (because yes, you are), I just may need  to meet you a few more times to get you to the long-term files. Also, if I still seem bugged about something, just remind me we got over it already. I won't believe it, but I'll play nice until I check my notes.

Anyway, that's it for let's get to know each other hour. Join us next time when we'll be discussing that weird dry spot that used to be on my bicep.